Monday, January 25, 2010

The 30-Second Rule: A Tip For Developing Relationships

I learned this 30-second rule from John C. Maxwell when I read his article in a newspaper.

They say that first impressions always last.  That is why too many people, not only politicians and celebrities, search for ways to make themselves look good.  They try hard to make a good impression - papogi or paganda points.  Of course, who would not want to make a great first impression?  But the  key to Maxwell's 30-second rule is quite the reverse.
Maxwell says that we must be impressed with others instead of trying to make a good impression.     The rule says when you first meet someone you don’t know, or when you see someone you haven't seen  for quite some time, say something encouraging and kind to them within the first 30 seconds  It is better to hold back on the desire to make one's presence felt but rather to look for ways to uplift the other person.
Compliment him or her about something.  Make a comment about the person’s new shoes, a nice haircut, or how well they did on their last presentation.  It will help you from being self-centered and will help you focus on the value of the other person.  However, men should be respectful and considerate about what they say to a woman lest they be misunderstood.

Here are the  principles that are helpful in following the 30-second rule.

1.  Give others the "Triple A" treatment - Attention, Affirmation and Appreciation
2.  Remember that the 30-second rule gives energy.
     People are energized and motivated when other persons value them for who they are.
3.  Spend time creating an encouraging thought for everyone you know.  Before you meet someone,  try to    think of something encouraging that you can say to him or her.        
In relationships and when spending time with people, search for ways to make them look and feel good.  Doing so will uplift them and will ultimately raise their opinion of you as well.

So, start practicing the 30-second rule now. Make it a point to compliment the first five people that you see tomorrow. Whether it be the barista at Starbucks, your child,  your secretary at the office, or your house helper;  make sure you say something kind and encouraging within 30 seconds of seeing that person.


Super Deej said...

WOW! This is very nice post.=] I will remember this 30 sec rule..=] Thanks for this.

You are invited to Llama's Choice Award 2010

News N Buzz said...

I totally agree. It should be the other way around. With our small yet genuine complements, we get to put a smile on someone's face, thus we make a positive impact to the person in return.

By the way, I added your link to my Links page. Could you please add me too? Thanks.

JENIE=) said...

i believe this 100% because I myself reacts differently to people who makes me feel good than those who don't.

Plus I think that it's best to act as natural as you can than trying overly much to impress people for it will come out stiff and stressed therefor turning out to be not impressive. ;)

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